Taco Making Robot is a myth. Crockpots are fact.
So, you and your friends want to do a 6 hour ride, but you don’t want to starve when you get home. And you’ve just discovered that the Taco Making Robot is a myth.
Whatever to do?
The crockpot is friend to many, not the least of whom is the noble cyclist. You can dump raw food in it, leave for a pleasant ride of several hours, and return to hot tasty food. Truly, it is a miracle of science.
The below recipe is my well-loved recipe for crockpot carnitas. I am not a nutritionist and I’m not espousing this as any kind of training chow or anything else. I am saying “this is how you leave your house for a 6 hour ride and return to tacos.”
Crock Pot Carnitas
Take 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon ground cumin, 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano, 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander and 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon. Rub into one 2-3 pound boneless pork loin roast. Dump into crock pot, fatty side up. Add to crock pot 1 cup liquid — this can be a yellow beer, chicken broth, or water. (If using chicken broth, skip the salt in the rub.) Add 1 tablespoon lime juice. Throw in 1 tablespoon fresh minced garlic and 1 bay leaf.
Cover. Set crock pot to low heat.
Wash your hands, because you were just fondling raw pork, and you don’t want to get that gunk on your bike gloves.
Get your stuff together and ride your bike for 4-6 hours. When you get home, send your buddy to buy more beer. Meanwhile, use a fork to scrape off the main part of the fat layer and remove from crock. Fish out the bay leaf. Shred the heck out of that meat.
Make up some rice or beans while you wait for the return of the beer-runners.
Pile into taco shells of choice (hard, soft, corn, whatever) with whatever you like on tacos (cilantro? salsa? cheese? lettuce? guac? yeah, go for it, you just rode 4-6 hours, right?). Crack a beer and eat tacos until you are full of taco-y goodness.
Note: Finished shredded pork can be frozen single-serve in sandwich baggies for quick defrosting after future rides. The spice mix also mixes up well in bulk to keep around. If you prefer to use garlic powder, put about 1 teaspoon garlic powder into the mix, or more if you fear vampires. But this really is better with fresh garlic, you cretin.
